We’re So Close!

Hey guys! Figured I would drop by and see how everyone is doing! I know I haven’t been writing a lot lately, and I’m sorry about that. I’ve been very busy with the podcast and streaming! Both are going very well and that’s all thanks to you guys!

I have done 7 streams so far on Twitch, and have managed to get 39 followers, which is absolutely amazing! In the picture above shows everything I need to make affiliate and I am happy to share that I only need 11 more followers until I reach my goal of making affiliate! I also have a side quest of getting 100 followers on Twitch by July 23, 2020, which is in 8 days!

I am so excited about this journey, and I finally feel like I found my place in this crazy world. I want to thank you guys so much for supporting and standing by me through this, and I’m not just talking about the recent additions to this project. For those of you who have following me since 2018 on this blog, thank you for giving me the confidence to keep going and showing me I have a voice. It’s not always easy to keep pushing and overcoming, but all of you made it worth it.

If you guys do want to check out my stream, you can find me Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at https://twitch.tv/rooplixoo! I’m still working on setting a solid schedule for those days, so just bare with me; those of you who know me know I struggle keeping a schedule with my ADHD and life. I mainly stream Minecraft, but I do a bunch of goofy things and generally have a good time. I will either make a page on here with links to everything, or I’ll just add it to the About page (I haven’t decided yet).

Another announcement I have is that I am in the middle of re-branding, so you will be seeing changes across all of my platforms in the coming weeks, so I hope you guys enjoy the new look! I’m excited to see how everything turns out!

Well, that’s it for now! Once again, I love you all and thank you so much! Have a good day/night/time of existence, and I will talk to you guys on Thursday!

It’s Finally Happening!

I’m so excited!!!

Hey everyone! I was very busy this week, but hopefully all of my hard work will pay off on Monday, June 29, 2020, because I will be doing my first official live stream on twitch! I am super excited to be finally taking this step, and I hope all of you are excited, too!

My twitch channel can be found at http://twitch.tv/rooplixoo, and I hope to see you all there! Either tomorrow or Saturday, I will share the link to the discord, so then we all have a place to hangout and chat!

I love you all!

It Needs to be Said

I was having a good week until my thoughts crept back. Unfortunately, these thoughts actually made me realize a lot. I’m hurt and sad and tired, and I don’t even know where to begin.

I came to terms with the fact along time ago that you can’t please everyone, and not everyone will like you. I also understand that not everyone will care as much as I do, but that doesn’t stop me from caring… well, for the most part. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and it makes my social life a bit hectic.

For a couple of weeks, I started to pay attention to who I spoke to on a regular basis and how the conversations went, and I figured out a lot. I then thought back to a ton of other conversations I’ve had with people I held close to me, and I found out what a lot of those interactions, old and new, have in common: I would be the one to initiate the conversation a majority of the time. This doesn’t go for everyone I speak with, but the ones that this happens with… fuck.

I then started trying to make excuses for it, my go-to coping mechanism for things like this, but then I stopped. I can’t keep making excuses and trying with people who don’t want to try with me. I have spent too much time crying and blaming myself and feeling like all I would ever be is the backup friend or the last resort.

Right now, my mental state isn’t exactly stable right now, but I keep pushing forward because I want to feel better. I want to feel like I’m enough, and that’s where I’m stuck.

For those of you who do make the small effort of just reaching out to say hello, know that your gesture is beyond appreciated and something that I hold close. Even if we just talk about bullshit or send pictures back and forth, thank you for keeping me in your thoughts. I know I’m not the best at keeping up with people, but I try.

I can’t keep letting people hurt me and not say anything, because it has gotten to a point that all I want is a hug, but I don’t want anyone near me because I’m so tired of being left behind.

I love you all. Please reach out to those you care about because they might not know anyone cares, and that message could change their entire perspective.