It’s Starting!

Today marks the day that I start my CLI project for school. I never thought I would get to this point, but I am very excited to finally be here. I created a page, which will act like a diary of how I’m doing on the project, as well as my thoughts throughout the process.

I have finally gained enough control over my emotions that I’m using them to work for me instead of against me, and doing that was a major feat in itself and I’m beyond proud of it!

On top of this project, I will be getting back into blogging more regularly and I will be starting up my game streams again, so I will be extremely busy and productive!

A bit more of good news… I got a job! I will be starting on the 30th as a barista at the local coffee shop.

I am very happy with how my life is going right now, and I’m happy for staying put and getting to this point in my life. No, this isn’t where I imagined I would be when I was daydreaming about my life when I was in middle school, but I’m proud of the person I’ve become. I’m driven and smart, and I have so much that I want to do.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day/night, and I will see you all tomorrow!

For Myself

Yesterday was a rough one, but I did realize a lot (on my own and with the help of others). I can’t say much without breaching my contract at work, but I will say that what transpired was, for lack of a better word, ridiculous. I have calmed down since the incident and here is what I’ve taken away from the whole thing:

  • I am not a bad person.
  • I am a wonderful employee and go above and beyond what is expected of me.
  • “You’re too beautiful to cry, and too good for this place.” — Wonderful Customer.

Most importantly, I’m not putting my future in jeopardy for a temporary job. I love my job and I take pride in everything I do and accomplish, but I have such a bad taste in my mouth now that I need to get back on the track of doing right by me.

Now that my mind is clear and I feel like I can breathe, I have one main goal in mind: finish school by my birthday (July 23). I am currently completing 50 lessons a week. I have 472 lessons left, which is about 10 weeks of work if I keep going at this pace. I know some of the labs I have to complete will take longer than that, but I have a little over 4 months before my deadline and I really think I can do this if I can avoid many issues and distractions.

I am proud of myself. I am smart, funny, and care a lot about those around me, but it’s time for me to put all of that energy towards myself and my goals.

I love you all. Here’s to the dark days ahead, and the many bright ones to come.

Catch Up?

It’s been a while, and I do apologize. The past month has been a bit hectic, so here I am with some time on my hands.

As of right now, I am currently dying of girl disease (AKA wicked period cramps). I slept at boy’s place until 3PM, got up, came home, did school work and went to dinner with said boy and got sick there… went to his, felt sick again… went home… it was a day!

Now for the events of the past months… During the first month of February, I went to an interview and got hired on the spot! I now work at Ulta Beauty as a beauty adviser and I enjoy it a lot. The best part is that I get to do my makeup more often which means I will be blogging about makeup again! I only work 3-4 days a week which gives me plenty of time to do school work.

Valentine’s Day was great. I worked that day (only 5 hours) and I was surprised to see my boyfriend waltz in to come get me from work. We left and headed to Eat n’ Park (my choosing), and spent the night together. It was really nice and I wouldn’t change a thing about it.

School is going well, I have finally caught up after all the new curriculum was added and I’m a little over 25% through my course. I’ve completed over 40 lessons in less than a week and I feel like everything is back on track.

For the next few months, I will be getting back into writing (on here and on my books), streaming and making videos, and school. I’m really happy with how I’m doing and where I’m headed.

A Big Decision

Tonight, I decided on something that I didn’t think I would be doing for a while, and it’s definitely not for the reason I thought I would be doing it.

Since early June, I’ve been working in fast food as a shift manager… well, that’s what I was hired as, anyway. I knew it was going to be rough, but I was up for the challenge. After a few weeks, I started to find my way and make a place for myself under the golden arches (if that’s not a big enough hint as to where I worked, I don’t know what else to tell you).

With every work place, there’s drama and secrets. I thought I was stronger, but I’m not. I am, however, driven to move forward, because tonight I decided to quit. I am constantly being told that I can’t do my job, so I’m not going to do it. I’m going to focus on school, get my degree and do what I want to do. It’s going to be hard, but at least I know with this path that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel instead of a brick wall.

As I’ve mentioned before, I deal with depression and anxiety on a daily basis, but I can control it for the most part. I haven’t been able to control it for about a month now and being aware of that destroys me. I am broken and I’m doing my best to fix myself. Life is too short, and I’ve done too much to let this place drag me down.

To all of you from work who read this: I am sorry for not being strong enough to stick around for a bit longer, and I’m sorry for all the days I snapped and broke down on front counter. Thank you for the laughs and the experience.

Here’s to the next chapter…

Weird Hours

Ever since I started working, my sleep schedule has become even more messed up than before. I originally told them that I can work any shift on any day, and I can, I just thought I would finally get my sleep back on track.

I like the shifts that I work, especially nights and early mornings. Today I will be working 2 PM – 10 PM with possible overtime because we’ve been short on nights lately. I love how crazy my schedule is because it works with everything I need and want to do.

I hope everyone has a great Friday and a wonderful weekend!

Brain Dead

My day went from okay to mind-numbing. I can’t even put into words what I went through today, but I can guarantee you that my brain is scattered and all I can to is babble at this point.

I will write a more exciting post in the morning, but right now I need to lie down and zone out for a bit before I pass out. Overall, it was a good day, but it had some seriously messed up moments.

I hope everyone had a great day, or at least a tolerable one! Sleep well!

Feeling Good

The past few days have been a bit stressful, but I realized that since I started this job I haven’t been holding onto as much anger. I deal with tough people everyday now, but once I’m done bitching about it, I’m able to move on from the situation a bit easier than before. I still bitch and hold onto things, I’m not completely better, but it’s a step in the right direction.

I have a 1 PM start tomorrow, but I’m going to try to work a double and take off Wednesday so I have 2 days off back-to-back. I don’t know why I want to have the days off, because all I want to do in my free time is work now. I am exhausted and drained, but I still have tons of energy.

I hope everyone sleeps well tonight and wakes up refreshed in the morning!

What a Day

Do you ever have one of those days where you should have just stayed in bed? Well, that was one of them for me. It went from bad to worse as each hour passed and I am glad it’s finally over.

I get to spend the remainder of the day eating Chinese food and drinking wine while trying to relax before heading out to work again.

I hope everyone had a great Friday, but if you had a day like I did, I will definitely have a glass for you!

Nap Time

I have a 6 AM start, so I’m going to get in a nap for a few hours before I have to get up and going. If I don’t get to sleep in the next hour, I will probably just stare at the ceiling until I have to get up.

I get off at 2 PM, so I will have the rest of the day to take a nap and get some work done. I got some things done today, but not as much as I wanted to because I needed to get some sleep in!

Goodnight everyone!