Acceptance

Hello lovelies, I hope everyone is doing well! Since 2021 started, I’ve made it a point to get my thoughts out of my head and onto paper because it’s not healthy to keep things bottled up. I know that speaking your mind isn’t the most popular thing, especially when it comes to certain topics, but sometimes it needs to be said. Today, I’m going to be talking about kinks and kink shaming.

Recently, a handful of people that I know decided to take the BDSM Quiz. For those of you who don’t know what this is, it’s a series of questions that you answer on a scale from not likely at all to most likely about sexual fantasies/desires, and it gives you percentages for dominants/submissive rolls depending on your answers (dominant: ~%, submissive: ~%, switch: ~%, vanilla: ~%, etc.). After taking the quiz, they all shared their results.

Everything should have been good, right? Nope.

After the results were shared, a few of the people decided to start really ripping into certain kinks to the point of judging and discriminating against those with these desires, when they themselves have fantasies and preferences that can be seen as taboo. This really got under my skin, as well as others in the chat, because we all came together due to being misfits and outcasts. We faced judgement and hate and bullying and just bullshit, and now they’re doing the same thing. It makes me sick to my stomach.

Am I completely innocent in all of this? No, of course not. I stuck my nose up to a few kinks over the years, but I never went out of my way to make the person feel bad about what they liked or shamed them. I will not condone anything illegal or hate-related but outside of that, to each their own, whatever floats your boat!

When reading through all of this, I felt like I was back in high school trying to make a secret playlist of all the music I actually liked because it wasn’t “cool” to listen to the music or enjoy the bands that I did and still do.

I know we’re all humans, and we’re judgmental as fuck, but I just didn’t think they would sink to this level. Due to all of this, I don’t feel comfortable talking in that chat. We all have weird things about us, why not just love each other for who we are instead of hating one another for the smallest of things?

Sorry for another rant, I really am, but this is really getting to me. It’s not right and I couldn’t just sit here and have these thoughts rattle around my brain for much longer.

I love you all! Please stay safe, love yourself, love each other, and just be the most amazing you! ♥

Choose Your Battles Wisely

Hello everyone! As always, I hope you’re doing well! It’s been a minute since the last time I posted, and I’m sorry about that! I’ve been working on new artwork and overlays for my stream, as well as getting some school work done! Before we get started with today’s post, I do want to clear up a few things… Everything that I will be saying is based off of my experience, and is in no way meant to target everyone. This is more of an emotional vent because the things that have transpired have been weighing heavy on my mind and I process my thoughts and feels best through writing. With all of that out of the way, let’s get started…

I have played computer games for a majority life, starting with the Jumpstart series, all the way through the Nancy Drew games, and now I play a bit of everything. About 8 years ago is when I started playing multiplayer games and have met some wonderful people that I am more than happy to have in my life. Unfortunately, with the good comes the bad. I encountered rage and kicks and all that good stuff. I didn’t let it stop me, though! I kept going and I will most likely play games for the rest of my life.

I am nowhere near good at games, but I play them to enjoy them and experience new things. Due to me not being the best at games, there are people who seem to take on the roll of carrying me through these games and talk down to me like I don’t know what I’m doing. I have been given the simplest of tasks and then praised or comforted like a child depending on whether or not I succeeded in the assignment at hand. I’ve been told that I’m good at games for a girl, which is utter bullshit. I’ve been belittled and insulted due to how I play and create. I will say this, even though it shouldn’t have to be said, I’ve received this treatment from every walk of life regardless of gender, sexuality, religion, etc..

I’m not here to be the best, I’m not even here to be good. I’m here to have fun and share who I am through creating. For the most part, I absolutely love the twisted family I’ve created and appreciate all of you so much for being in my corner over the years.

I really needed to get that off my chest and I honestly feel a lot better. I’m going to keep fighting and pushing forward because if I let the actions of others get me down, I would have tapped out in kindergarten!

I love you all, and I hope I didn’t upset any of you with this post. Keep kicking ass, keep creating, and most importantly, keep being you!

When to say Goodbye

Hello everyone, I hope you’re doing well. As you can probably tell by the title, I’m not in the best headspace… but I’m trying to be.

For a couple of months now, I’ve been thinking a lot about the people in my life and those I really care about. I think about the ones I haven’t heard from in a while and wonder what they’ve been up to. I even went through old conversations, which all ended the same way: unread messages… no response.

Now I know people get busy, it’s not like we’re in high school anymore with endless time to do whatever we want. I know a lot of people have become depressed due to the events of 2020, and a lot even forgot how to socialize. It can even be the pure fact of growing apart. I’m understanding of all of it, I’m not innocent in any of this. I shutdown and disappear, and I get so caught up with my life that I forget to respond but what bothers me is that they make time for everyone else.

My entire life, I’ve always been a backup if plans fell through or if nothing else was going on. I used to ask to hang out and play games and be told they were going to bed, only to find out that they were going out. I don’t understand why they couldn’t just say they had plans. This isn’t just one person, either. There are a few who I’ve had in my life for years that do this.

What hurts the most is when they question me about not writing to them for a while, when they never reach out first. I realized that when I went through the conversations that I write first a majority of the time. I’m not going to lie, I sent multiple messages without a single view or response just checking in on them and making sure that they’re okay.

I’m hurt because these were people that I would do anything for. I let them into my home, I fed them, I listened to them, took off work and stayed with them when they needed something. I didn’t do any of that expecting anything in return, but after everything I’ve been through with these people I would have at least expected a goodbye.

So now I’m here debating whether or not now is the time to walk away.

Hitting the Books

Hello everyone! Hope 2021 is treating you right so far! It’s been an interesting start to the year, but I think we’re going to be better off than we were in 2020. The past few weeks for me have been packed full of planning and scheduling but I’m finally at a point where I can slow down… or am I?

As of today, I am once again a student. I enrolled and started classes this morning, and I couldn’t be happier! I am enrolled in paralegal studies and I am 8% through my first semester’s course load (according to my student dashboard). I forgot just how much I enjoyed learning and being a student, and it’s great to be back!

With that being said, I’m sure you’re all wondering what’s going to change. To put it simply, nothing. Rooplixoo will continue to thrive and I made sure that I have time for everything! The only thing that I’m struggling with right now is that my hands are killing me from taking notes all day and I’m hungry.

We have a busy week coming up as far as streaming is concerned. I will be streaming 1/12 at 3PM, 1/14 at 3PM and 1/16 at 10PM on twitch! Tuesday’s stream will be an anything stream, Thursday’s stream will be dedicated to going through my steam library, and Saturday’s stream will be the first of my Stardew Valley Completionist Playthrough!

I don’t have much else to report, so I will end it here! I love you all and hope you have a wonderful Monday!

Hit the Ground Running in 2021

Good morning everyone and Happy New Year! I wanted to put out a post yesterday, but time got away from me and I tied up in other things. I hope you’re all enjoying 2021 so far. A lot has been going on behind the scenes and I would like to tell you all a bit about it!

First and foremost, I finally have a schedule! There will be two posts a week (not including the sonnets), and three streams a week over on twitch!

As you can see, it’s a bit of a mess but I feel like this staggered setup will work out in the long run! I’m really excited to have a plan set in place, and can’t wait to see where it goes!

Next on the agenda, I am going back to school! I did some calculations and found out that I have way too much free time, so I will be enrolling in a paralegal studies course to fill in some of those timeslots. I miss going to school and I love learning, so why not add another thing to my schedule that I enjoy? I already have my binder setup and all I have to do now is enroll!

Moving on, I will also be starting to upload to Youtube in March. I will be uploading all of the VODs from my stream, posting the podcast, and doing some game playthroughs!

Finally, something that we’ve all been waiting for… I am going to be getting new artwork done for all platforms (blog, twitch, Youtube, discord, etc.)! I love my post-it notes, and I loved my keyboard, but it’s time once again to revamp! I don’t know exactly how it will look, but I know it will definitely be Rooplixoo approved!

That’s pretty much all that’s been going on, though there is one more surprise that I’m keeping under wraps until the end of the month. So far 2021 has been great, but that is thanks to the good things carrying over from 2020!

I love you all! Stay safe, have fun, kick ass and I’ll see you all later!

The Decade Known as 2020

A few more hours to go before we ring in the new year with hesitation! 2020 was definite one for the books and I think we’re all relieved to be finally moving on to 2021. I look back on this year, and as confusing and painful and lifechanging as it was for me, a lot of good came out of it.

Like many others, I was laid off back in February. I was lucky enough to still live at home, but I had student loans and bills to pay. Nothing was certain and I felt lost. I was denied unemployment and . I then sat down and started to think about what work I could do from home and I ran to Indeed and Glassdoor to see who need a remote position to be filled or a virtual assistant to go through and organize their emails. The pickings were slim and the jobs that I qualified for were being filled before the job listings were even put up.

Around March I received an email from Udemy saying that all courses were 90% off. I ignored it. For about a week and sat and waited for the day that I would get the call to come back to work. The call never came and I needed to come up with something to occupy my time so I didn’t go absolutely insane while being stuck at home. So what did I do? I started a podcast, though I had no audio editing skills… so I ended up finding the email from Udemy and started looking through page after page of audio editing. From their, audio editing courses turned into video editing and then I found a twitch streaming course. I bought 5 courses that day and decided I was going to podcast and stream and enjoy my time.

For about 4 months, I studied these courses and took notes like a star student. In May, I started the podcast and on June 29 was when I went live for the first time on Twitch. On July 17, I made affiliate and I just celebrated 6 months of streaming 2 days ago. I’ve people who I would have never crossed paths with and got to experience some amazing things. I learned how to handle assholes in my chat and gained the ability to laugh at myself and think on my feet. Most importantly, though, I found my calling. I made a streaming family, and we’re broken and fucked up, but loving and driven. I don’t want to go back to a 9-5 job where everything I do goes unnoticed and nothing ever makes an impact. I like being my own boss and waking up getting to do something that I love. No one is taking that away from me.

2020 was a shitshow, but I made something of myself this year and I want to celebrate that as we close this chapter. All of you share your love and support daily, and without any of you I wouldn’t be able to do this and I want to celebrate that, as well. Yes, 2020 will never be forgotten but if this year didn’t play out the way it did, none of this would have happened and for that I am beyond grateful.

In 2021, a lot is going to be changing for Rooplixoo and myself. January is going to be hectic getting everything finalized, but it’s going to be great! We have tons of projects to work on and holidays to celebrate. I say this a lot to people in my life, but I don’t think I’ve said this on here, so… you’re stuck with me. I have nothing but time to do this so that’s what I’m going to do.

Here’s to 2021 and to us. I love you all and hope you have a wonderful, kickass New Year. See you all next year!

2/154

Hello everyone! I’m spending the day writing, but I wanted to take a moment to get the second sonnet posted. I hope you all enjoy it!

When the time comes and the days grow colder,
And there’s only our thoughts to ease us at night,
Will we be at peace when we are older,
And be able to say we cast a light?

Yesterday parted without a goodbye,
Tomorrow comes upon us suddenly,
Today will be nothing but a long sigh,
Unless we can mark each minute greatly.

When we become frail and our thoughts go dull,
With nothing ahead and sorrow behind,
Can we say that the days were great and full,
Or just mem’ries taking up space in mind?

We must do our best to love much and care,
Before we are nothing, faded and bare.

1/154

Hey guys, hope you’re all doing well! I don’t have a lot going on so we’re just going to jump in! The first sonnet is done and I’m really excited to share it with all of you! It’s been a while since I’ve done any creative writing but I’m really happy with how it turned out!

The selfish woes of the unspoken mind,
That cast a shadow down unto the heart,
With nothing more than silent cries to find,
Never to be heard, nor seeking to part.

The words that once were spoken lay weary,
The eyes that once shined grew dull and hollow,
Warmth’s embrace now nothing but a mem’ry,
There’s not much left except to just let go.

With all that strewn out before us in life,
The passing days and weeks that we once craved,
Think if things were diff’rent I’d be a wife,
Instead, I sit with pain that is not saved.

All while wanting to just move on and feel,
But left with nothing as so much to steal.

I stuck to the rules of 10 syllables per line, 14 lines, and the rhyming scheme. It took me about 4 hours between writing and rewriting but I think I did well! Let me know what you guys think, and here’s to the next 153!

The Early Hours of a Sleepless Mind

Hello everyone, I hope you’re all doing well! This isn’t going to be a normal post, as I have so many things I want to say, so this is just going to be a bunch of rambling and haphazardly pieced together thoughts… actually, this will be a normal post.

The past few weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions. I’ve been happy and scared. I’ve made so many new friends; they’re so wonderful and I’m grateful to have them in my life. On the other end, I have people in my life that either no longer trust or that make it so I feel powerless in any situation that they’re involved in. I am strong, but I can’t help but fall back into my old habits and shut down.

The best part is that while all this is happening, my mind is muddied by a boy and I’m pretty sure I’ve driven my friends up a wall with how much I talk about it. I should just resort to writing his name in my school notebook and playing MASH at sleepovers. Even as I write this, my brain is an office whose filing cabinets just exploded everywhere and the power’s out.

Now that it’s 4:30AM and I have Steam Powered Giraffe blasting in my ears, I think I should remove my hands from the keyboard and go to bed.

I hope most of you are sleeping well, and the rest got enough sleep for a good day. I will be posting the podcast later today, so stay tuned for that!