This weekend, as well as today, gave me a dose of reality. In two months and a handful of days, I will be 23. Before I go any further, I will say right now that getting older isn’t what’s really bothering me, I actually don’t really mind growing up.
Back to the point, I’m turning 23 soon and I am realizing that I’m not taking advantage of being young. I am constantly stressed, to the point that my hair is turning grey and is starting to fall out. Many people have told me that my 20s won’t be all fun and games, but it shouldn’t be this hard.
I’m going to take a couple of days to get myself organized… again. I will be getting all my bills in order, and restarting my rewards chart now that my mind is a bit more clear. I’m also going to do fun things, like making videos and planning trips. I know I will struggle, that’s just life, but I want to enjoy some parts of it before I get too old to enjoy anything.
I need change, and I’m the only one that can do it.
Over the past couple of days, my boyfriend and I have realized something we have in common: we are major nerds. We have spent hours watching videos and doing research on the original equator and how ancient civilizations connect to one another.
We keep bouncing ideas off of each other and getting excited when we reach the same conclusion. We’re learning a lot and coming up with our own theories, and I have never felt so happy about staring at a screen.
My mind is fried but I want to keep going… I need to keep going. I love learning about history and ancient cultures.
Have you ever experienced having a thought or making a suggestion and being shutdown, only to have that same idea and thought regurgitated by someone else and everyone thinks it’s great? Yeah, me too. Don’t you just wish you could smack those people right between the eyes?
If it wasn’t apparent, this truly pisses me off. It actually makes my blood boil and I start clawing at my palms. I can’t stand when people turn up their noses to my ideas, just to think it’s a good idea later on and actually suggest it to others. It’s just disrespectful and kind of fucked up. I understand that opinions change over time, but don’t sit there and act like you came up with this great, original plan all on your own.
This is why I keep to myself a lot of the time. I’m tired of being treated like I’m beneath others, and that my thoughts and ideas aren’t valid. I don’t need validation from anyone, but I hate this high school bullshit.
Thankfully, it’s Friday and I can just relax and take the weekend to calm down. I just need to focus on my work, school and the handful of decent people in my life. I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend, and don’t let people shut you down. You are amazing and you should own your thoughts. If others are going to disrespect you, shove them aside. It’s just one less birthday card.
Over the next week, as I play around with this site, I will be writing about new topics and old ones more in-depth. Everything from mental health to relationships and everything in between. The only two subjects that I will not touch are religion and politics, though I may tell stories of funny encounters I’ve had with the topics.
Moving on, I added a new section called Chitchat. As I grow, this will be a place where everyone can talk and share their opinions or ideas. I found a lot of comfort in sharing my thoughts through writing, and I figured it would be nice to have a place here for everyone to do just that.
I also have yet another secret project underway that I have been working on for the past couple of weeks. Only a couple of other people know about it and I think it would be a good addition to Rooplixoo. I finally have a space to create and free my mind, so I’m taking full advantage of my time and the little focus that I have to keep things going.
It’s finally happened! After months of looking through the same handful of themes, I picked one. I am extremely happy with the layout, but I still have a lot of work to do on it! There are so many new features with this theme, so I will be playing around with it for the next few days.
On top of a new look, I am starting to get back into taking pictures, and playing around with my setup so I can create even more content for Rooplixoo. I am so excited that I’m finally getting around to doing all of these side projects, I finally feel confident in the direction I’m moving in. Who knew a new theme would reboot my creativity?
I didn’t sleep last night, so I’m a tad punchy right now. I’m going to try to get a few more hours of work in today before I crash.
Happy Monday everyone!
Today and my weekend will be filled with work, school and I will finally be getting around to giving this blog a much-needed remodel. I spent all last night thinking about everything I want to do and how I want to go about doing it.
First of all, I need to update my about page. It’s a bit outdated now that I’m not just focusing on makeup and being girly. After I do that, I will be good to move onto phase two of the update which will consist of a new layout. The layout I have now was good in the beginning but now I need something a bit different.
Once I have Rooplixoo looking the way I want it to, I will be covering a wide range of topics. I have really limited myself with what I write about now and I want to truly put myself out there and talk about anything and everything. With a name like Rooplixoo, I have the freedom to create content about whatever pops into my mind.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday and a great weekend!
I had a rough morning, which was brightened by hearing my boyfriend’s voice. After that call, I started thinking about they layout of my blog… again! I still need to find a new theme, but I would like to start writing about long distance relationships (LDR). It won’t always be about romantic relationships, but about friendships as well.
I have been in many LDRs, including my current relationship. My last in person relationship was a few years ago, and that’s when I realized that the chances of the one being within walking distance is slim to none. The only thing that differs from long distance and in person is the physical aspect, but the rest of it is the same. We have our date nights and play games, we fall asleep together and send good morning texts.
Almost all of my friends are in another country, with the exception of a few who are in different states. With the ever-changing world of technology, it has really opened up my world and the past 6 years of my life would be completely different if it wasn’t for the internet. I found some of my greatest friends and the one because of something we take for granted, and it still amazes me that I know these people.
I want to be able to write about my experiences with distance, because I think it’s a good outlet for introverts and people who feel completely alone. There’s a whole world out there and each call is like a mini vacation.
This morning I woke up late, and wrote my morning post later than I usually do. After having a mild freak out and giving myself the third degree, I came to terms with what happened and started to think. I’m the boss and I make the rules. I then started to think about everything I want to do with Rooplixoo.
I want to start making videos and getting personal with the small but beautiful audience I have. I want to bring all of you into my life and on my adventures. I started this blog as motivation to get my life together, and now I use it as a space for my mind to run wild.
I almost gave up on this today, but I took my mistake and I’m turning it into something great. I’m going to keep on this path, creating whatever I come up with.
Today was riddled with panic attacks and getting lost in my thoughts. I got to thinking about the problems I face and the people I have crossed paths with. I try to take something good away from all my interactions, but that’s not always the case. I have a habit of attracting people who are far from aligning with me and I don’t realize it until I’m too deep.
Fortunately, I have been able to realize that I’ve gained strength from all of my bad experiences. Not all of my bad experiences are life-shattering, but they all leave their marks. Some of these times in my life fade without a trace except for the memory of them, while others continue to try to find their way back into my life. Due to my anxiety, I have gained paranoia and constantly feel like I’m under a microscope.
When I started this blog, I wanted to be 100% honest, which I still try to do but I sensor myself and avoid certain topics. I have my reasons for keeping certain things private, one of them being that I don’t want to cause drama. I just wish I could write in length about the good things without shit hitting the fan.
The one thing that keeps me going is the simple fact that I’m happy, and that’s all that matters. I am truly happy and I’m not going to let these people hold me back. I’m an open book, and I want to share my story with the world no matter what it takes. Starting tomorrow, I will be heading in another new direction with Rooplixoo and I am confident that it will be okay.
Words can be very powerful. They can lift someone up, or tear them down. They convey information and can tell stories. We use words everyday in conversations and writing. I recently had the realization that my words have made an impact. This is probably something I should have realized way sooner, and I did, but I never realized to what extent.
In the past few months, I have destroyed and created by just using my words, mostly through feelings. I wasn’t brutal in my destruction, just honest and direct. Through using my words, I was able to get my thoughts out in the open and then I was able to heal. I no longer felt like I had to hide. I also had words thrown at me, which allowed me to let down my walls and trust again.
When I look back, I realize just how much words can change a situation. I know it’s a simple thing, and I probably think this is groundbreaking news because I’m sick, but I find it truly amazing just how powerful we all are when armed with something so common such as speech.