Hey guys, it’s been a while! I want to start off by apologizing for not writing everyday like I was, and I feel like I let myself down a bit with this project.
Over the past couple of weeks, my depression decided to rear its ugly head once more and I decided to stay away from the computer for a while (with exceptions, of course). I didn’t want to fill my blog with tons of angry and depressing posts, so I decided to take some time and work through it.
I thought a lot about this blog during my time off, and I realized that I trapped myself in a box. I had a set schedule and when it comes to writing, you can’t force creativity like that. I have decided that I will continue to write on a regular basis, but I won’t force it. I will write every day, maybe 2 or 3 times a day, but I won’t pressure myself into writing “perfect” posts. I’m not perfect, and neither is my writing.
I truly hope everyone has been doing well and hanging in there. I love you all!
I have a habit of getting terrible writer’s block every time I sit down to write. Eventually, I come up with something, but I’m drawing a black so I will write about not being able to write.
Forcing myself to focus has never been something I have fully grasped in my short time here on Earth. I know what I have and want to do, but when it comes down to doing whatever task is at hand, I can’t do it. I will procrastinate, and then procrastinate procrastinating. It’s an endless loop until the last minute and then I get everything done. I have always been like this. My mom dragged me kicking and screaming from preschool up until now.
I hate that I can’t organize myself to the point of being able to get the simplest things done until times almost up. I keep trying, though. I make task lists and set small goals that need to be finished by the end of the day.
There are times where I don’t need reminders and I will spend days on end getting everything off my plate. I take full advantage of these days because I don’t know when I will hyper-focus again. It’s a struggle, but I deal with it.
I had a rough morning, which was brightened by hearing my boyfriend’s voice. After that call, I started thinking about they layout of my blog… again! I still need to find a new theme, but I would like to start writing about long distance relationships (LDR). It won’t always be about romantic relationships, but about friendships as well.
I have been in many LDRs, including my current relationship. My last in person relationship was a few years ago, and that’s when I realized that the chances of the one being within walking distance is slim to none. The only thing that differs from long distance and in person is the physical aspect, but the rest of it is the same. We have our date nights and play games, we fall asleep together and send good morning texts.
Almost all of my friends are in another country, with the exception of a few who are in different states. With the ever-changing world of technology, it has really opened up my world and the past 6 years of my life would be completely different if it wasn’t for the internet. I found some of my greatest friends and the one because of something we take for granted, and it still amazes me that I know these people.
I want to be able to write about my experiences with distance, because I think it’s a good outlet for introverts and people who feel completely alone. There’s a whole world out there and each call is like a mini vacation.
While I was sitting here trying to figure out what to write about, I went back to my poetry blog, Writing In the Street. I read a few of my pieces out loud before returning to the dilemma of figuring out what to write. That’s when a certain someone suggested that I write about my old work.
I started writing poetry and short stories when I was 14 years old, and I never stopped. I used to hate writing, truly hate it. Then, I met my 9th grade English teacher, Mr. Z. Not only was he passionate about English and teaching, he instilled his passion into me. He’s the reason I started writing, and I can never thank him enough.
I stopped writing for a while; I became extremely critical of and discouraged by my work, but that’s all changed. I got my inspiration back, and found a new muse. I’m really happy that I’m getting back into writing, especially with them by my side.