Feeling Good

The past few days have been a bit stressful, but I realized that since I started this job I haven’t been holding onto as much anger. I deal with tough people everyday now, but once I’m done bitching about it, I’m able to move on from the situation a bit easier than before. I still bitch and hold onto things, I’m not completely better, but it’s a step in the right direction.

I have a 1 PM start tomorrow, but I’m going to try to work a double and take off Wednesday so I have 2 days off back-to-back. I don’t know why I want to have the days off, because all I want to do in my free time is work now. I am exhausted and drained, but I still have tons of energy.

I hope everyone sleeps well tonight and wakes up refreshed in the morning!

A Long Day

Today marked the first of many, as I encountered someone who was a bit unpleasant… At the time, I actually got really upset to the point that I was fighting back tears, but the fact of the matter is that he doesn’t matter and I can’t keep wasting tears on people who aren’t worth it.

Over the past few days, I have dealt with such nice people, whether it’s customers or coworkers, and that’s what I need to focus on. I am very lucky to be working with people who are so understanding, and they make it worthwhile.

All I have to do and keep doing is focus on the good people and it will make working, and living, a lot easier. I know I can do it.

Early to Bed

It just hit me that I’m getting tired at a normal hour, which doesn’t happen often for me. I will be working tomorrow through the weekend. I have worked full time before, but it was in an office and only for a couple of months.

I’m happy that I’m getting back on a normal schedule and getting out of the house. I’m extremely exhausted, but it’s good to get away from the computer for a while.

I hope everyone has a wonderful night!

A Fresh Start

I was worried for a while that I would never be able to work full-time. Between my physical and emotional problems, I didn’t have the drive or motivation to do really anything. Things are different now, though. I’m not depressed as much, and I feel driven to work and get an education. I feel like I can make it.

I have been faced with a lot of pain and misfortune in my life, and I held onto all of that pain for so long that I didn’t have room for anything good to happen. Once I started to let go of it a little bit at a time, things started to look brighter and I knew I was heading in the right direction.

I have goals and dreams now that are beyond waking up and getting through the day. I get up every morning excited to work and do my schoolwork. Knowing that I was able to make it through my past and get to this point has shown me that I can literally do anything.

9 to 5 (or something like that)

Yesterday, I got a call and now I can finally talk about it. I put in an application to be a shift manager at McDonald’s and about an hour later I got a call to set up an interview for 9 AM today.

Between yesterday and this morning, I went from being excited to nervous to being frantic, and those emotions went in a constant loop until I got there and sat down. I won’t go into too much detail, but the interview went perfectly and I start orientation on Sunday!

I am still extremely nervous and excited, and this will open up so many opportunities for me. I feel like everything is moving in the right direction, and nothing will stop me!

I hope everyone has a great weekend, and a wonderful holiday!

A Change of Heart

In my last post (or the one before that) I said that I was going to be dying my hair brown. Well, I went to CVS with the intention of buying the same hair dye I bought before, but another color caught my eye. It’s a soft black, and I haven’t had black hair in about 5 years, and I think it’s about time to try it again. The good thing about black hair dye is that I know it will cover the green, blue and brown in my hair.

Outside of changing my hair, I am getting everything in order for a fun weekend of work and little sleep… and some games! I will also be tackling my new laundry mountain, which I’m not too excited about but I’ve run out of clothes to wear and I’m pretty sure I need to wear clothes to leave the house.

I’m happy that I’m keeping myself busy. Keeping busy is the best distraction from my thoughts and I need to keep my mind focused on moving forward.

Some Good, Some Bad

I won’t be writing for long because I have a terrible sinus headache and I need to lie down. I hope it’s just allergies and I’m not truly sick, or else this week will be even longer.

I actually got out of the house today and walked to CVS to buy hair dye. It took me about 20 minutes to pick out a color that wasn’t blue. I have to say, I will miss my blue hair, but I need a bit of change. The past few weeks have been full of change, and even though some of it has been tough, it’s been eye-opening and overall good.

My stress levels have been steadily rising, but I’m hoping they’ll lower soon. I have too much to do, so I need my anxiety to back off for a bit. I’m doing well, though. I’m still here and that’s all I can really ask for right now.

I hope everyone had a great day!

Getting Back on the Horse

As of late, a lot of chapters in my life have come to an end and I am now left with a huge blank space to start writing the next passage. I realize now how much I’ve lost my way, which is why I’m going to make a true effort to get back to where I was.

A couple of years ago, I wanted to get into streaming games. I never got around to it, and as more time passed, I just dropped the idea. I am extremely socially awkward, but I figured this could have been a way to get me out of my shell. I’ve decided once I get my desk cleared off and get some of my work done, that I’m going to dive in and try it. Why not? I have nothing to lose and it could be really fun!

Then I started to think about all the other projects I let slip through my fingers. I need to start doing everything I want to do, even if nothing comes of it. I am tired of having regrets and what ifs. I am too young not to do all these things.

Starting Anew

Today is the day I start over. I can’t keep doing what I’m doing an hoping that everything will be okay, because that’s not how it works. I need to tear down and rebuild… I need to move forward.

I have gone through so much in my short time, and I need to try to get rid of my pain and sorrow. My past is starting to consume me, and I need to get out of my pattern of waking up and hoping that things will change. I will now wake up and make everything around me change. Waiting patiently is getting me nowhere fast.

I am working and going to school, yes, but outside of that I really don’t have much going on outside of my boyfriend and my family. Don’t get me wrong, I love my boyfriend and my family, I just need something and I don’t know what it is.

I’m hoping once I get my life reorganized, I will figure out what I need to do. I have such a wonderful support team, but I need to give myself a bit of support, too.

Too Much to Do

There’s only a few more days and so much that still needs to be done. I am so emotionally drained at this point and I know that feeling won’t go away for a while. I know what I have to do, but it’s hard to not get overwhelmed.

I know everything will be okay, but it would be extremely helpful if I didn’t feel like I was hitting a wall every 5 seconds. I keep going, though, and I won’t stop.

I will get through this… we will get through this, no matter what it takes.