Brain Dead

My day went from okay to mind-numbing. I can’t even put into words what I went through today, but I can guarantee you that my brain is scattered and all I can to is babble at this point.

I will write a more exciting post in the morning, but right now I need to lie down and zone out for a bit before I pass out. Overall, it was a good day, but it had some seriously messed up moments.

I hope everyone had a great day, or at least a tolerable one! Sleep well!

Tough People

In life, we won’t always encounter people who are the nicest. Sometimes, we will encounter people who are assholes that have nothing better to do than be mean. My life is a 60/40 split (60% assholes, 40% non-assholes). The 40% in my life make it so I can deal with the 60%.

Sometimes, difficult people are just people who we don’t mesh with for one reason or another; it’s not a bad thing, it just is. There are those, however, who are knowingly targeting ones around them merely for the fact that they don’t like them. This is a problem.

One thing I’ve always struggled with is when I’m in a position where I have to deal with these people. I always had the option to walk away from those I didn’t get along with, but when I can’t do that, I feel defeated. I have learned to cope with the fact that not everyone will like me, but I don’t understand why some people feel the need to constantly poke me.

I deal with it, though. I’ve learned to take what they say and do with a grain of salt, and to space out when I can. I start thinking about the people who help me and appreciate me for who I am. I think about how amazing I am and that I should be proud of myself.

 

A Really Good Day

I had a really good day. Yes I went to work and it was a bit hectic, but one little girl made it all worth it. It was her birthday and she brought in a coloring book and crayons and I told her that I loved coloring. I always interact with the kids that come in. Happy kids = happy parents/grandparents, which means everyone can enjoy their meals.

When this little girl was done celebrating her special day, she came back up to the counter and handed me one of her original pieces and even gave me a hug. This gesture was so pure and innocent, it made me a bit tears. It was just such a sweet moment for me, as are all of my interactions with the younger kids. They have such booming personalities and making them happy brings me joy.

Above is the picture she colored for me, and I hope to see her work in an art gallery some day.

A Long Day

Today marked the first of many, as I encountered someone who was a bit unpleasant… At the time, I actually got really upset to the point that I was fighting back tears, but the fact of the matter is that he doesn’t matter and I can’t keep wasting tears on people who aren’t worth it.

Over the past few days, I have dealt with such nice people, whether it’s customers or coworkers, and that’s what I need to focus on. I am very lucky to be working with people who are so understanding, and they make it worthwhile.

All I have to do and keep doing is focus on the good people and it will make working, and living, a lot easier. I know I can do it.

An Off Day

I feel weird today. I’m not sad or angry, but I’m also not happy. I don’t want to do anything productive, and I’m tired of laying in bed. I guess I just feel off. I don’t know what to do or how I feel, so I guess I will just deal with it.

I think I will be okay, I should be, I just wish I knew what was wrong. Hopefully I will feel better as the day goes on.

One Down

I survived my first day at work. My legs and feet are killing me, and I’m surprisingly wide awake. There were a few bumps in the road, but I pushed through and I made it across the finish line!

I was so nervous, and then when I got there I pretty much jumped right into it, with some help of course. I’m not going to lie, there were times where I wanted to go hide in the bathroom and cry, but I’m happy I stuck with it. Not only did I get through my first day, it didn’t scare me off like it probably would have others.

I realized that not only did I get through my first day, but that I’m capable of standing on my own two feet with a smile on my face and enough confidence to keep going. I have a support team, but now I can say that I can actually rely on myself.

I rewarded myself with an $11 bottle of wine, and now I’m going to watch some videos until I pass out. I hope everyone had a great day, and has the strength to keep fighting a good fight!

9 to 5 (or something like that)

Yesterday, I got a call and now I can finally talk about it. I put in an application to be a shift manager at McDonald’s and about an hour later I got a call to set up an interview for 9 AM today.

Between yesterday and this morning, I went from being excited to nervous to being frantic, and those emotions went in a constant loop until I got there and sat down. I won’t go into too much detail, but the interview went perfectly and I start orientation on Sunday!

I am still extremely nervous and excited, and this will open up so many opportunities for me. I feel like everything is moving in the right direction, and nothing will stop me!

I hope everyone has a great weekend, and a wonderful holiday!

Back in Black

Today was extremely jolting for me, and I’m glad I dyed my hair when I did! I ended up getting a call today, and I won’t say what it pertains to, but it made my day a lot brighter. I have a big day tomorrow, and my wonderful mother helped me get everything ready!

Outside of that, I did some school work and relaxed. Things are finally starting to fall into place for me, and with that in mind, my confidence in the future has been boosted.

I hope today was great for everyone, and know that sometimes the unexpected can be pretty great!

Second Choice

Do you ever feel like you’re last on someone’s lists of priorities, no matter how many times you’ve dropped everything to make sure they’re okay? Or have you been told, “Well so-and-so couldn’t hang out so I’m free” or “I didn’t have anything better to do, so we can do this”? All of this gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling… that makes my blood boil and my skin crawl.

I’m tired of being picked last for kickball, so I’m going to put myself first. I will be my number 1 priority, and if others have a problem with the fact that I’m not there for them 24/7 anymore, then that’s their problem. Obviously if something is truly wrong, I will offer to help, but I will no longer waste my time hoping that I will be treated the way I treat them.

I have always struggled with dealing with people and making friends, because I always expected human decency. I now know that I can expect human decency, but should only expect to get back about 70-80% of what I give. I have disrespected myself for long enough, so now I’m my top priority.