Good morning/afternoon/evening/time of existence everyone, I truly hope you’re doing well. I’m sorry for not posting anything last week, I just needed some time to step back and really focus on myself. I will say this, this post has to do with my pregnancy and how I’m feeling (it won’t be graphic, but just a warning).

Today was my due date; I know that due dates are just an estimate but this is the only day that I have to go off of. The whole thing feels so surreal, like everything was a really weird dream or someone else’s memory, but then it sinks in that it’s mine.

I didn’t know how I was going to be today. With each day that passed, my mind wandered and started thinking about how I would feel and what I would look like. I thought about the names I picked out… what it would be like to hold you.

What I am going to focus on, though, is that I did get to hold you. I held you for a little over 11 weeks, and I love and cherish the time I had with you. I don’t want to give you a name, because no name could truly capture how special and wonderful you were. Just know that you will always hold a place in my heart and that you were and always will be loved.

I know you are okay now, and I know I will be, too.