Tonight, I ran away. It was just up the street, but I left with the intention of leaving from there. I packed a bag and grabbed everything I could possibly need but, in reality, I had nothing.
I want to apologise to everyone I’ve hurt. I’m a bad daughter, friend, girlfriend in the past and, most of all, person. I feel like a burden and all I want to do is keep running. I’ve run out of places to hide, so all I can do is expose myself, and I’m sorry. I am truly sorry for those I have hurt. I’m sorry for every ounce of pain that I’ve caused. Most of all, I’m sorry that I exposed those around me to my pain instead of fixing myself before putting myself out there.
I’m sorry that I’m like this, and I’m sorry if I never change. I will keep moving forward, but I’m going on autopilot.
I got some rest today. I’m still out of it and my knees are killing me, but I’ve dealt with worse. I’m just happy I can still walk around and function. I’m also really happy that I wasn’t alone.
It was really early in the morning (between 3 and 4 AM), and I was in a call with someone who I would be lost without. They stayed with me and tried to keep me awake until I passed out. I realized in that moment, that I could truly trust them no matter what and I wasn’t alone. I’m happy to have them in my life and by my side, and I’m truly happy to call them my best friend.
It had to be the most interesting falls in my life: having my headset fly in the other room because I hit my head so hard, and making that connection. We never used to talk much, but I’m happy I made the connection again. I needed them there, and I just hope they want me around when they have a spaz attack and hit the ground.
I have a lot going through my mind now. I’m getting closer with new friends and old ones, and I finally feel like I can breathe again.
If you guys read this, and you know who you are, thank you for making my life so much brighter. We’re in this through thick and thin, and I wouldn’t have it any other way!