Busy Bee

Today and my weekend will be filled with work, school and I will finally be getting around to giving this blog a much-needed remodel. I spent all last night thinking about everything I want to do and how I want to go about doing it.

First of all, I need to update my about page. It’s a bit outdated now that I’m not just focusing on makeup and being girly. After I do that, I will be good to move onto phase two of the update which will consist of a new layout. The layout I have now was good in the beginning but now I need something a bit different.

Once I have Rooplixoo looking the way I want it to, I will be covering a wide range of topics. I have really limited myself with what I write about now and I want to truly put myself out there and talk about anything and everything. With a name like Rooplixoo, I have the freedom to create content about whatever pops into my mind.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday and a great weekend!

Rewind and Unwind

Sometimes, it’s good to go back to a simpler time. For me, that meant making a  terrible blanket fort, cookies and watching YouTube videos. I have been very stressed lately, to the point that it was causing physical pain and I needed to try to contain it before it got out of hand.

At the end of the day, I am out of cookies and almost out of stress. I am amazed how much something so simple helped so much. I think from now on, every Friday will be Blanket Fort Day. If I can do something that alleviates some of my emotional pains, I will.

Overall, my Friday was very relaxing and I’m happy I made my shitty, one-blanket blanket fort. I cried a lot, but it was such a relief to let all of that pain out. I’m coming to terms with the fact that I don’t need to keep hiding how I feel, especially my anger and sadness.

I hope to get a lot of work done this weekend, as my to-do list just keeps growing and I feel like I’m running out of time. I’m going to get things in order and work through it all.

Perspective

The other morning, I ended up going outside to take pictures of the snow for my friends. I haven’t enjoy the snow in years, mostly because I can’t stand the cold, but it was different. Everything was quiet, and there were no bunny prints on the ground. All I could hear was me. It was like I was completely alone.

There are a lot of times I feel completely alone. I normally enjoy it, but this was amazing. I finally saw just how beautiful being alone can be. I was standing outside in my pajamas and I didn’t feel cold. It was like it was my time to just be. I am alone a majority of the day, but I know there are people around. There was nothing, and it reminded me of why I became a night owl in the first place: I enjoy the silence.

Depression and anxiety make it very hard for me to enjoy things in my life, but in that moment I was there instead of millions miles away thinking about how I fucked up on that math test in 3rd grade or that random woman who glared at me in the mall back in high school. I was just watching snow fall at 5 AM, and it was all mine.

It was truly amazing, and I hope that everyone can experience that. I finally feel like I can control my thoughts. Will I always want to? No, but I have the option to and that’s all I’ve ever wanted. I wasn’t angry, sad, excited or happy, I was just there. I can’t stand getting up that early, but if I’m up, I might step outside and see if I can recreate what I felt.

I’m nowhere near being 100% okay, but I don’t think anyone is. All I know is that even when my battle is at its worse, I can just be. I am still extremely sad and feel an emptiness that is more painful than anything I’ve ever experienced, but at that moment I felt like I had something to cling onto.

I’m out of whack, and probably will be for a while, but this is the first time I can say that I will survive again.

A New Month

January had its ups and downs, but it’s time to say hello to February! Over the past month, a lot of things have changed for me and it’s because I started Rooplixoo. This blog has given me the power and strength to keep going.

When I started this project, I expected this blog to just be about makeup and beauty. As I woke up each day, I kept having new ideas for what I wanted to do and now I’m kind of doing everything. I learned that I can’t keep trying to limit myself. I have a voice in a lot of different areas and I want to share it all.

To be completely honest, I didn’t think anyone would read my posts or even see the site. I now have 27 followers and I want to thank all of you for connecting to this project and inspiring me to keep growing. I didn’t think my thoughts had a place in this world, and all of you proved me wrong. Thank you so much for sticking with me.

This month, I have a lot planned for Rooplixoo. The site will be undergoing a few changes (new theme, new pages and new topics), I will be planning out videos for the future and a top-secret mini project is in the works! I know I will be adding more side projects and goals as I make my way through February, as well as the rest of the year.

I know I’m already on this journey, but it has truly only just started. I am so happy to have this project and I’m beyond grateful for the people who have taken the time to read my writing. I know I don’t have a set schedule for what I’m going to write about, and I’m trying to get more organised with what I want to post, but I kind of enjoy not knowing; it’s like a surprise every single time I sit down to write.

I hope everyone had an amazing January, and has an awesome February!

Five Books, One Plan

I just finished my nightly workout and I am exhausted. Everything is sore, but I feel surprisingly relaxed. I had to change a couple of the exercises tonight due to existing back problems, but I should get the same results in the end!

Today, I set out to relax and make bullet journals for everything I’m doing. As I searched through my piles of notebooks, I picked the final contenders for the job. I’m really excited to get them all set up and start using them. I have all of my pens ready and a ton of scrap paper to help me plan the layout for each one. Since I slept a lot today, I will probably spend tonight working, relaxing and getting the journals squared away (maybe even play a game or two)!

I’m still a bit stressed from today, but I’m a lot better than I was before. I’m just hoping that everything will be a bit better tomorrow. All I can do now is take it slowly and do my best!

Keeping up With It

Today marks day 2 of my routine, and it’s going pretty well. I got up and did some school work, and exercised. With 3 out of 5 tasks completed, I think I will count this day as successful.

I’ve noticed that even in this short amount of time, I have gained a tiny bit of energy. Normally when I take naps, they can last 4+ hours, but today I only napped for about 2 hours. I will always need to take naps during the day (I’m tired person in general), but if I can my naps down to about 1.5 hours, I will have so much more time to do the things I want and need to do.

I’ve even been drinking more water! I filled my bottle up twice today, which is a huge improvement from filling it every other day. I don’t know how long I will keep at this, but I will keeping doing so for as long as I can. So far, though, I really like the short-term improvements I’m seeing.

Tonight, if I can’t fall asleep, I will be making a more precise schedule for my posts and drawing up how I want each page to look. I’m extremely proud of myself and I want to see this project through because I truly think I can do this!