Tag: goals

Tired Thoughts

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Today, I sat in bed, took care of my pets and took a nap. My mental state isn’t 100% because, on one hand, I feel like I did nothing; on the other hand, I needed to step away and just do nothing.

My life, like many others, is me standing in the middle of a never-ending shit storm holding onto a tiny ball of good. No matter what happens, I hold onto that ball in hopes that one day the storm will clear up and the ball can grow.

If I had to take anything away from today, it’s that the storm that surrounds me is not something I can control, because a majority of the storm is caused by the world around me. I can, however, control that tiny ball of good. I can’t control how people will react or the unexpected, but I can try to maneuver these obstacles with grace.

I’ve come to the realization that I can’t take on every single problem because someone asks me or expects me to. I can’t keep helping people by not helping myself; in the end, I have to live with myself and I am tired of living in a stressed, worn out body.

It will take some time for me to work on this; old habits die hard. As long as I keep working on it, though, it will become easier because I will become stronger.

Tomorrow, I will be writing out my full routine and start fresh Monday morning. I will make time to do everything: makeup, nails, school, work and exercise. If I want a better me, I need to make it.

Keeping it Short

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This is going to be a short post, I’m really not feeling well right now and I need to lie down.

I did my nails in the color “soft pink”. It actually went on really well, and it would have definitely looked nice if I actually knew what I was doing! I really like how fast this polish dries and it doesn’t smell too strong. I wouldn’t say it’s the best nail polish I’ve used, but it’s definitely in my top 3 favorites!

If I wasn’t so nauseous, I would write more. I’m going to see if a nap will help and then I will start doing some work when I get up! I hope everyone has an amazing day/night!

Nail Polish and Upcoming Plans

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Second day of doing my nails and I actually prefer doing my makeup! I’ve decided to skip the sheer polishes and I will circle back around to them at the end. I’ve also found a ton of stuff to do acrylic nails, so I might add that to my never-ending list of goals for this year!

Today, I will be doing my nails, and finishing up my bullet journal so I can actually use it! I also have an idea for a logo, so I will be playing around with that, too. I’m terrible at drawing, but I feel like the logo needs my personality in it. Outside of this, I will be working and going through my courses.

Also, as of right now, I am up to 20 followers on this blog and I would like to thank all of you who to the time to view and like my content, as well as follow me on my journey. When I started this project a little over 2 weeks ago, I didn’t think I would see much traffic for the first couple of months, but all of you proved me wrong! It’s a huge confidence booster for me as a writer and a person. So, in short, thank you so much for giving me another reason to keep this blog going!

That’s about it for now. Over the next few days, the website is going to get a face lift. Once the logo is done, I can start to really buckle down and get started on creating videos. I have a handful of ideas that cover so many different topics, so I will figure out what direction I want to go in. I guess that’s why I chose Rooplixoo; it can go in so many different directions, and I think it suits me. Through this project, I am going in so many directions and I am truly having a great time doing all of this.

Sheer Pink

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First day of getting through my nail polish and I didn’t read what color it was. I assumed it was a dull pink, but it was sheer! I know I will have to go through every bottle of nail polish on my shelf, but I was hoping for something a little more exciting that a sheer polish!

left + right

It didn’t turn out too bad; obviously my left looks better than my right, but that’s part of why I’m doing this! I think I’ll call this look “I dipped my fingers in melted candy”. The nail polish went on smooth, and I did do two coats of this in hopes that it wouldn’t be as see-through, but I only ended up making a bit of a mess.

All in all, I enjoyed it! I did think my right hand was going to turn out way worse than it did, so I am pleasantly surprised! I can’t wait to get through the rest of the sheer polishes so I can get into all the fun colors!

With this side quest in my overall goal, I’m going to have to start revamping the site so everything is in a section and easier to find. I will probably start construction over the weekend so I don’t get overwhelmed with everything I need to do!

The lesson I’ve learned from all of this is just because it looks like one color in the bottle, doesn’t mean it will look like that on your nails!

Have to Start Somewhere

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In a previous post, I briefly touched upon my vast collection of nail polish. I currently have 153 bottle of nail polish in my room (some on the wall and some in my vanity). The funny thing is that I rarely do my nails. I know what you’re thinking… how did I come across all these bottles of nail polish? Well, that’s a funny story.

On December 22, 2015, I ordered a 3-piece nail polish wall rack so I had a place to display my polishes and other nail-related items. Now, I don’t know exactly what happened. Whether they thought I was a salon owner or maybe I won a contest, I ended up with a shipment of 144 bottles of Nabi nail polish. I had no order record on my account, and when I called customer service, they said the package was for me. I stopped questioning it and considered it good fortune. Unfortunately, the shelves didn’t arrive for another few days so I had to wait to unbox all 24 small boxes.

It has been slightly over 2 years since receiving these polishes and I have barely touched them. Opened nail polish has a shelf life of about 2 years, and I have only opened a few of them. My goal is to not only learn to paint my nails and do them every single day, but to use every bottle that exists in my room. From what I remember, the nail polishes actually give full coverage in one coat. It has been 2 years, though, so I might need to do two coats.

The biggest challenge I know I will face is that I am not ambidextrous, so I struggle to paint my right hand. I’m sure the next 22-ish weeks will be filled with some pretty interesting and funny photos of my beautiful nail art, and definitely a few videos!

I guess without anything further to say, I’m going to jump into this part of the New Year’s Resolution!

An Interesting Day

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Today was an interesting one, to say the least. After publishing my first post of the day, I immediately felt sick, but I powered through to get this done! Above is the before and after of my makeup, which took me about 2 hours to do because I kept spacing out!

After my makeup was finally finished, I went into my closet to get the dress which wasn’t where I thought it was. I didn’t see it on my garment rack at first which lead me to search the back room downstairs. I was becoming frustrated, so I took a deep breath and looked in my closet one more time, and it was staring me right in the face! I have no idea how I missed it the first time, but I’ll blame it on me being sick.

Then, once I had my makeup done and my dress on, it was time for the photo shoot, but what’s a photo shoot without any problems? I don’t know! When I went to turn my camera on, the battery was dead. It’s winter so I didn’t have time to change the battery before the sun went down. I just used my phone.

I decided since it was so nice out today, that I would take my pictures outside.

Snow pics

I was absolutely freezing! I like how the pictures turned out, but never again without pants and a jacket! I also thought it would be a good idea to wear 4-inch heeled boots with ice and snow on the ground! I’m just having an off day, but I got it done! I’m really happy with how my makeup turned out today, especially my lipstick; I guess lip liner is great at keeping lipstick in its place!

Once I finished taking the photos, I ran inside, got back into my pajamas, wiped my lipstick off and took a nap. I love sleeping when it’s snowing or raining, I find it very relaxing to watch.

I really hope I’m not sick, but I know that I am. I’m just not sure if it’s something I caught, or my new medication. I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough! For now, though, I’m going to try to get some more sleep! I don’t really have anything planned for tomorrow, but I’m pretty good at thinking on my feet!

A Throwback

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Well, it’s Monday again and I have a full week ahead of me. I finally have an idea for a logo, and a few video ideas, too! I’m happy that I use the weekends as days to plan and relax, it helps a lot. I actually missed writing here everyday!

Over the weekend, I decided to look at my Facebook memories and this picture came up. This was taken 5 years ago when I was a senior in high school, and was posing in the kitchen the night before my senior pictures were going to be taken. I absolutely love that dress, and I wish I knew where that hat was. Today, I will be doing my makeup, putting on that dress and doing a mini-photo shoot! I don’t exactly know how I will take the photos without all of them being selfies, but I will figure it out!

Another thing that happened this weekend is I learned a very important lesson: don’t go out of your way for people who wouldn’t do the same for you. I have done this a lot, and always feel let down in return. Any relationship is a two-way street, and they should be equal. So, my new rule is that when they give an inch, I’ll give an inch. They pull back, I pull back. As long as I’m happy with myself, that’s all that matters! My energy is going to be focused on me and the ones I care about.

The girl in the picture up there had fun, and that’s what I aim to do from now on!

I’m excited to see how the photo shoot turns out, so I guess I have to get started!

Taking a Break

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Today started off really well for me actually, minus the one or two petty things. I got a few more hours before I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I screamed and cried until I couldn’t.

Between getting dragged into other’s bullshit and trying to battle my depression, I am weakened and I don’t want to do anything. I know I will get up tomorrow and keep going, but I’m getting off my personal social media accounts for a while. This weekend will be spent working on this and data entry (that’s what I do for work).

A few people in my life don’t understand why I’m always so stressed. I mean, I work, go to school and even socialize all from my room. I should actually have very limited stress, but I don’t. I might get to stay in sweats all day, but I pay for comfort by being a listening ear. I am an emotional dumpster for everyone. I vent a lot, but I can’t do it anymore.

For a while, I believed that a lot of my problems would be eliminated if I removed everyone from my life. I have dealt with so much, and I keep going, but I think I repressed many of my emotions along the way in an attempt to keep myself from completely losing myself. I would like to get those back.

I wish I had a happier post for Friday. I do have an idea of my schedule for Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. Fridays will have one post and eventually Instagram/Twitter posts. Weekends will have no posts but be used as planning days for the upcoming week. I want to organize my site a little better, and start designing my logo.

The reason my day started off well was because I am up to 6 followers on this blog. I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has spent time looking at my blog, liking my content and following. It amazes me how many people this blog has reached, and I am extremely proud of myself for sticking with this.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, and I’ll see all of you back here Monday morning!

Getting Personal

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For the past few days, I will get up early, stay up for a while and then pass out until the late afternoon. Not the greatest thing for trying to maintain a schedule. At first I thought I was getting sick, or I’m just extremely tired because it’s getting dark out earlier. Both of these things could be working together to make me tired, but I finally figured out what it is. Depression.

I have been dealing with depression and other mental problems since I was 10 years old. The list includes:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • ADD/ADHD

These three things are very common and, from my understanding, each one can cause the other. Unfortunately, I don’t know which one is the ring leader. I have been in therapy for a couple of years, and on waiting lists for a couple of psychiatrists for months now.

I have tried everything from meditation to hemp oil, as well as a cocktail of medication. Nothing except for my anti-anxiety pills have worked. I have chemical and trauma-based depression, generalized anxiety, panic disorder, and combined ADD/ADHD. All of my problems are very common, and many people have told me it’s because I’m young. I hope they’re right but I doubt they are. I think as I get older, I will have a better grasp on coping mechanisms, which in turn will help me avoid sleeping all day and feeling alone.

I have been told I chose to be this way, and that I can stop whenever I want to. I wish I could stop. I wish I could flip a switch and all my thoughts would be happy, and that I wouldn’t feel like a failure. All these things take time to get better, but I still don’t believe that I have all of this because I’m young.

This isn’t my first project, but I feel like I can open up and get somewhere in my life with this one. The fact that I sat down and did a full face of makeup the other day was a huge accomplishment. I have held myself responsible for this blog, and I won’t let it die. I have put a lot of time into it, and I don’t want to add another project to my incomplete list.

I’m forcing myself now to snap out of this mindset by keeping busy, and it’s the best I can do right now. I know once I have a full schedule, I won’t have time to sleep all day. I want to be happy and enjoy the small things.

First Bullet Journal

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Today was pretty good. I got back into my school work and organized things for my job, as well as get everything together for my very first bullet journal!

I am terrible at keeping track of things, and I know task lists help me more than anything. Task lists won’t be able to keep track of everything I need to do for work, school and this blog, so I figured that I would have a book that I could keep everything organized, from blog post ideas to my hours for work!

Basically, everything I need to do in my day-to-day life will be in this book. There are so many things I want and need to do, that I need to micromanage myself so I don’t fall behind and become even more overwhelmed than I already am.

On the list of things I want to do with Rooplixoo, I want to start making videos. I keep saying that I’m going to film my journey (which includes many different areas of interest), but I constantly put it off.

I’ve never done this before but, for anyone who reads this, comment on this post if you like the content, if you would change something I do, or anything else. Eventually, I would like to have a community of people like me who are trying to grasp the concept of life while also having fun.