Category: Life

One of those Days

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Today was a day where everything felt slightly off. Nothing went wrong, but nothing was 100% okay. I don’t feel weird, but everything around me does. It’s hard to explain. Maybe I’m just tired.

I got a lot of thinking done… school, my future, life in general. I went into my mind with a few questions and left with more. Some of my questions were answered with day dreams, and others I didn’t have the time to get to. It was interesting, and I’m happy I did it. I kind of have a plan again, which I lost along the way.

Tomorrow is Friday, which means we survived another week! My night will probably consist of work, videos/movies, games, bad jokes and passing out at my computer. I might legally be an adult, but I’m still young enough to be a kid and I will continue to be one until I’m shriveled up and can barely hold a mouse or a controller.

Same Story, Different Plan

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I’ve been through this before, but it’s going to be different. I can’t keep doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome. I can no longer expect people to change, so I’m going to need to make the changes.

It’s been a long day for me, going back and forth on what I should do, but it all boils down to that I need to do what’s best for me.

Tomorrow I will have longer posts and pictures, but this is all for now. The past few days have been rough and I wasn’t in the mindset to put out long posts today. I hope everyone has a wonderful night and I will see you guys tomorrow!

A Good Night

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Happy Margarita Day everyone! I hope everyone had a wonderful night, I know I did! Tonight I let my guard down and had fun with my mom! We had drinks, blasted music and had a ton of laughs.

Before I started drinking, I worked on my secret journal and got some school work done. I also did a lot of thinking today about my life and I know exactly what I need and want to do.

Today, overall, was a bit uneventful but sometimes boring is good. I am happy and calm, which I deserve to be.

I hope everyone had a great day, margaritas or not! Until tomorrow, have a goodnight!

As the Hours Pass

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I have spent many hours on the little black book. I didn’t even realize what time it is until I realized my playlist started over… twice! I can’t wait to be done setting up this journal so I can finally use it.

Yesterday, I managed to get all of the dye off my face, but my hands are still a nice shade of blue. I ended up leaving the house, though, to get dinner with my mom! We had a great time and we ended up stopping at the little convenience store before heading home. There, a very kind woman complimented my hair and we spent about 5 minutes talking about hair dye!

I’m so happy I have found the energy to keep going. I’m even happier that I’m enjoying music again, and singing until my vocal cords are sore. I still have a long way to go, but I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was definitely worth the wait!

The Secret

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Most girls have little, black dresses…. I have a little, black notebook. I have a plethora of notebooks, but this one is special; this one will hold secrets that cannot be revealed as of yet.

The past few weeks have been a roller coaster, some bad and a lot of good. I am getting back on track with my life, and everything seems bright again. My entire perspective has changed; it scares me, but in the best way possible. The past few weeks have given me hope for my future, and it’s truly amazing.

I wish I could shout from the roof tops about how I’m feeling, but that would generate noise complaints, and it’s being kept under wraps for now… which is where the notebook comes into play! I will be writing everything down and keeping track of it all so when everything has settled down, I can write about it here.

At this point, only a few people know what’s going on in my life, which I really like. I feel like a spy on a top-secret mission. I’m so excited for this mission, just thinking about it puts a smile on my face.

Every girl has her secrets, it keeps the mystery alive!

A Rose by any Other Name

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This morning I was going through my photos and reliving a lot of memories – some good, some bad. While going through all of these pictures, I got to see how much I’ve grown over the past few years… and how many times I changed my hair color.

I ended up seeing pictures from a lot of the darker days I had, followed by my brighter ones. Having the years laid out that way showed me that I have gotten through so much already and that I will continue to.

I’m not as fragile as I think I am, nor am I weak for having the feelings that I have. I need to start giving myself more credit and, once I do, I will be able to wake up every morning and know that everything will be okay.

Flu Season

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I was productive, and then I wasn’t. I took a short nap because I could barely keep my eyes open and I woke up extremely nauseous. It’s been like this for about 5 hours now. It’s almost like I’m motion sick and I need everything to stop spinning.

Even though I’m sick, something great happened. Two years ago, I was in a car accident that really messed me up (I will probably go into details in another post later on once everything settles down). Today, my case was settled and I couldn’t be happier. It has been a long road for me and my family, but it’s finally done with and we can move on.

I’ve looked back on the past couple years and I realized that life doesn’t get better or worse, it just changes. There are good parts and bad parts, but that’s just how life is. No matter what happens, it’s just a learning experience.

I hope I will start feeling better soon so I can keep pushing forward. I will get back into doing fun things and taking pictures so these posts don’t seem so empty!

Happy end of Monday everyone!

At the End of the Day

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At the end of the day, the sun sets and everyone gets settled in for the night. They night pray or send goodnight texts to their loved ones. I don’t. I say goodnight to my mother and I head up to my room where I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Sometimes I watch videos or talk to people, but I mostly just stay in bed thinking.

Last night I thought about what I wanted to do with my life. As of late, I gave up on my plans and I honestly don’t know what I’m doing outside of working and this. I don’t know what I want anymore, and I feel lost. I’m trying to stay positive and think about the quiet snowfall I witnessed the other morning, but I’m torn inside about what to do.

Whether it’s my depression talking or this is how I truly feel, I honestly don’t know. I’m trying to stay focused on what I need to do but I’m struggling more and more. It could be the weather and I’m not getting enough sunlight, or maybe it’s something I’ve yet to realize. All I know is that I need to figure it out and keep it from eating me alive before I know what it is.

Depression, in short, is a fickle bitch. I’m starting to fight back, but it’s a long battle ahead. I just need to focus on the end goal and that everything has to get better.

A New Month

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January had its ups and downs, but it’s time to say hello to February! Over the past month, a lot of things have changed for me and it’s because I started Rooplixoo. This blog has given me the power and strength to keep going.

When I started this project, I expected this blog to just be about makeup and beauty. As I woke up each day, I kept having new ideas for what I wanted to do and now I’m kind of doing everything. I learned that I can’t keep trying to limit myself. I have a voice in a lot of different areas and I want to share it all.

To be completely honest, I didn’t think anyone would read my posts or even see the site. I now have 27 followers and I want to thank all of you for connecting to this project and inspiring me to keep growing. I didn’t think my thoughts had a place in this world, and all of you proved me wrong. Thank you so much for sticking with me.

This month, I have a lot planned for Rooplixoo. The site will be undergoing a few changes (new theme, new pages and new topics), I will be planning out videos for the future and a top-secret mini project is in the works! I know I will be adding more side projects and goals as I make my way through February, as well as the rest of the year.

I know I’m already on this journey, but it has truly only just started. I am so happy to have this project and I’m beyond grateful for the people who have taken the time to read my writing. I know I don’t have a set schedule for what I’m going to write about, and I’m trying to get more organised with what I want to post, but I kind of enjoy not knowing; it’s like a surprise every single time I sit down to write.

I hope everyone had an amazing January, and has an awesome February!

Trying to be Okay

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In more recent years, I’ve settled into the stresses of being a young adult and realizing that things don’t get easier or harder, rather they change and challenge you every step of the way. I think about how much I’ve changed over the past few years, but also how eerily similar everything has been.

When I was younger, I jumped around from one dream profession to another; when I was 5, I wanted to be a vampire slayer (unfortunately, they don’t do very well in this economy). Everything from marine biology to wedding planning interested me. I’ve taken courses in interior design, business management, software development, web design, and I even tried starting my own business. I still have this need to learn and do everything, which is great and terrible. I have all the time in the world but still run out of it by the end of the day.

Throughout all of my changes in life, there have been constants… my parents, I’m a pain in the ass, traveling, and my teddy bear. Now, over the past 22 years, I have accumulated a toy store’s worth of stuffed animals of all different sizes and colors, and I love them all. My bear, the one pictured above, is very special to me. He was given to me by my great-aunt when I was born and has been by my side through everything. I can only remember a handful of times where I didn’t have him with me, except in school and at work. His right arm has fallen off about 7 times, and my mom always sewed it back on. He doesn’t have a name, but I can’t imagine him with one at this point.

I know, a 22 year-old with a stuffed animal friend. It’s more than that, though. I found comfort in him being there. I was and still am capable of finding joy in something, and if I have to sleep with a teddy bear for the rest of my life to feel somewhat okay then I will.

I’m not ashamed of being happy or feeling comfort. I’m not going to let others control how I feel about things, or allow them to make me feel bad about myself. As long as I have my bear, I can try to be okay.