Author: Roo

My name is Roo and I'm a 20-something who is currently taking on way too much. Between work, school and video games, I rarely leave my laptop! You can catch me live over on twitch.tv/rooplixoo Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays! Follow me on twitter for updates, and Instagram for some photos (@rooplixoo)!

A Step in the Right Direction

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On January 29, 2018, Paige put a white board on her wall! Not just any white board… a white board with her new routine on it! I probably woke up an hour ago, but my sleep schedule will eventually get better as I follow this routine. I’m not too worried about getting my sleep on track just yet, I just want to have a set of tasks for each day.

On Saturday, I got to see my second cousin, second cousin-in-law, and I finally got to meet my adorable third cousins! It was really fun and I can’t wait to see them again. Sunday, unfortunately, my depression and anxiety went into high gear and I slept all day. I am still a bit shaky and out of it right now, but I’m going to try to work through it.

Back to the board… I have listed everything that I need to do, and things I need to remember to do throughout the day and the week. I will try to set up a habit tracker today, but that’s not exactly at the top of my list.

After I get back from lunch, I will be settling down and getting to work. Since I woke up late, I don’t think I will be able to do a decent amount of work and get 16 lessons done in school, but I will try!

Even though my nerves are shot and my mind is in a million different places, I’m proud of myself. Just putting the board up on my wall is an achievement for me, and I need to remember that every little thing I get done is good.

A Hair Day

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For the first time in 6 years, I straightened my hair and I honestly don’t know how to feel about it. I like having it straight because it makes it easier to get out of my face, but I love my curls. It’s taken me years to accept and love my curly, frizzy hair.

When I was in high school, all the “cool” girls had straight hair, so everyone straightened their hair in hopes they would rise through the social hierarchy. For the first two months, I was constantly asked, “Why don’t you straighten your hair?” and told that curls were only meant for formal events. I am one of those people who doesn’t like to be bothered, so I started to straighten my hair in an attempt to fade into the background of the hallways between classes.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t as simple as straightening my hair and it would be straight. I had the joy of straightening my hair and it turning into a static-ridden disaster, which lead to more questions and comments. I learned that I would have to train my hair. Everyday before school, I would wake up at 5 AM, brush my teeth, wash my face, straighten my hair, do my makeup and still be late for the bus (if my mom wasn’t driving me that day). I straightened my hair everyday until my hair lost all of its body. I was finally left alone.

After I left that school and continued my high school education online, that routine stopped. I didn’t have to deal with any comments about anything. It was great. I was actually able to feel confident about something on my body.

Up until today, I have probably straightened my hair about 5 times, and about 3 of those times to make it easier to curl. Another reason I don’t like my hair straight is because my ears stick out slightly, so the curls cover that up!

I’m happy I did this, I got to see how long my hair actually is, but I don’t see myself breaking out my flat-iron for the sake of pin-straight hair anytime soon.

This weekend is going to be a busy one. I will be getting ready to start my new routine! I bought a white board to keep track of things and workout clothes! I hope everyone has an amazing weekend, and I’ll see all of you back here Monday morning!

The Final Draft

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I had a productive day… in the sense that it wasn’t very productive at all! I walked around the house and thought about everything I need to do during the day, while I also neglect most of those things.

I start a bunch of projects, and then I get overwhelmed and do nothing. From there, I get anxiety because nothing is getting done, and I get depressed; it’s a fucked up domino effect that needs to change. I feel like I’m lost in a sea of to-do’s and I’m either going to sink or swim… so I’ll try swimming!

When I started Rooplixoo, it was for the sole purpose of getting through all my makeup. Now, it’s taken on a mind of its own because I keep adding new goals. New goals are never a problem, except when they start to stack up and you end up watching 10 hours of videos and reach the end of the day feeling empty. I’m putting my foot down, because what I’m doing isn’t working anymore.

When I was younger, my mom created this beautiful board titled “The Eye Chart”. I am legally blind in my left eye, so when I was younger, the doctors told my parents that I had to wear these stick on eye patches and do exercises to strengthen the vision in my left eye. Now, not much has changed in the sense that I am a stubborn, pain-in-the-ass that marches to a different beat, but I do enjoy rewards and prizes. My mom created this chart and at the end of each week, I would get a prize. I think I got through about 2 weeks before it was retired, but I still continued to fill in all the days with stickers!

I will probably be up all night because I took a nap today, so tonight I will be putting my board together and working. Up above is a draft of what will go on the board. I have started so many things, that I need to remind myself to brush my teeth! I’m not proud of that, but the first step is admitting there’s a problem! I feel if I can get myself on a schedule and stick to it, I will either start to feel better or be so distracted that I won’t have time to feel bad.

I know it’s impossible to plan out every single day and have a perfect routine, but if I nail it at least 4 days out of the week, I’ll be beyond proud of myself. At the end of the day, I have to live with myself. If I have to basically recreate The Eye Chart and reward myself for being a functional human being to get on track, then so be it!

Here’s to yet another new beginning!

What to Do

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Today, I will not be doing makeup because my face needs a break from the makeup I used at my dad’s. I don’t know what caused the allergic reaction, but my eyelids are still really dry and itchy. Instead, I will be getting everything finished!

I have way too many loose ends because I like to start 80 things at once, so today I will be knocking out a lot of it! When I woke up today, I had this huge burst of energy and I want to do everything! My plate will be filled with a bullet journal, a daily routine board, work, school and a logo design! I haven’t figured out the order I will do everything in just yet, but I guess I’ll find out soon enough! I have also been neglecting my Instagram, so I need to start keeping up with that, too!

Today is the day that I get my life back on track and try to feel better about waking up every morning. I’m taking back control (again) and I don’t plan on letting go!

Trying to be Okay

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In more recent years, I’ve settled into the stresses of being a young adult and realizing that things don’t get easier or harder, rather they change and challenge you every step of the way. I think about how much I’ve changed over the past few years, but also how eerily similar everything has been.

When I was younger, I jumped around from one dream profession to another; when I was 5, I wanted to be a vampire slayer (unfortunately, they don’t do very well in this economy). Everything from marine biology to wedding planning interested me. I’ve taken courses in interior design, business management, software development, web design, and I even tried starting my own business. I still have this need to learn and do everything, which is great and terrible. I have all the time in the world but still run out of it by the end of the day.

Throughout all of my changes in life, there have been constants… my parents, I’m a pain in the ass, traveling, and my teddy bear. Now, over the past 22 years, I have accumulated a toy store’s worth of stuffed animals of all different sizes and colors, and I love them all. My bear, the one pictured above, is very special to me. He was given to me by my great-aunt when I was born and has been by my side through everything. I can only remember a handful of times where I didn’t have him with me, except in school and at work. His right arm has fallen off about 7 times, and my mom always sewed it back on. He doesn’t have a name, but I can’t imagine him with one at this point.

I know, a 22 year-old with a stuffed animal friend. It’s more than that, though. I found comfort in him being there. I was and still am capable of finding joy in something, and if I have to sleep with a teddy bear for the rest of my life to feel somewhat okay then I will.

I’m not ashamed of being happy or feeling comfort. I’m not going to let others control how I feel about things, or allow them to make me feel bad about myself. As long as I have my bear, I can try to be okay.

Losing Momentum

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Yesterday was an experience that I never want to have again. I am allergic to something in that makeup bag, so I can’t do my makeup while I’m here until I get better makeup.

I get very panicky when I go somewhere, even if it’s just for a few days. This time, I forgot my notebook for school and I didn’t bring enough work with me to truly utilize my time. The good thing is that I remembered to bring my laptop and the charging cable, so I can still write on this blog.

In the past, I’ve tried using lists so I remember everything I need to bring with me, but that never worked because I would always forget to put something on the list. My boyfriend has sat in calls with me multiple times asking me if I had everything I needed, and I still fell short. I try to prepare ahead of time, but I’m starting to realize that I just have to go with the flow and try not to worry when I leave something behind.

Since I don’t know what I’m doing today, I guess I’ll start working soon and go from there. The only exciting thing about not knowing what I’m doing is that the second post for today will be a surprise!

An Experience

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Well, this was something. From drawing all over my eyelid with mascara to my eye shadow brush falling apart, it’s been quite the adventure. I don’t know what’s in this makeup, but my eyes are super itchy right now, so I need to get through this post!

The eye shadow surprised me! It was extremely pigmented and layered really well. The mascara, however, made me sad… it was really dry and flaky, and it was reasonably new.

Sadly, I had to say goodbye to my eye shadow brush. It lived a long life, and applied many an eye shadow. It started with a few bristles, and then the entire top half of the brush fell off. It was a great loss, but I had to move on. Here’s to my fallen brush, e.l.f. eye shadow brush.

I really don’t have much else to report on, but my eyes are watering at this point so I have to go and scrub my face! It was interesting just going with the flow and doing my makeup at 9 o’ clock at night.

Tomorrow is another day, and hopefully I won’t be completely broken out. Here’s to new-ish adventures!

The Basics

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Today I’m at my dad’s house so I can’t actually do my full day routine here (mostly because I forgot some things at my mom’s house), but I did find my makeup. I have powder, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, eyelash curler and a lip gloss sword.

I haven’t done my makeup with this little since 10th grade. I never used foundation or more than one brush, so it will be interesting to retry my high school ways! If I remember correctly, the eye shadows don’t give a lot of color so I hope I will be able to layer them.

As a small, very obvious update, I did not change the website around or work on my logo this weekend. This weekend was very rough for me emotionally, and I couldn’t even think about touching this blog. I will hopefully be working on the logo today, and eventually get to the website sometime later this week.

I don’t really have much planned for today, so I’m just going to wing it! I worked so hard on setting up a daily routine that having no plan feels kind of weird. I am currently on Skype and we just finished playing golf. Once the call ends, I guess I’ll just go with the flow!

Happy Monday, everyone!