I Don’t Understand

This is going to be a more serious post. Recently, my depression has started to creep back in, bringing anxiety along with it. I didn’t realize how bad it was getting until earlier today when I took a nap.

When my depression is getting near its peak, I start to have dreams that have a beginning, middle and end, and they play out like a normal day. The longer I have these dreams, I start to blur my dreams with reality. The good thing is that I’m aware that it’s happening, but with the awareness comes panic attacks because the question of, “what’s real?” still lingers.

I’ve been having panic attacks since about 3 PM today, and it doesn’t look like it’s going to stop. I’m trying to stay positive, and focus on the good things, but it’s really hard when I sit here and question whether or not they’re real.

14 thoughts on “I Don’t Understand

  1. The best advice I can give you against panic attacks and questioning whether things are real or not is to focus on something that needs to be done through the day.

    Give your best because knowing when is comming again let you prepare to fight it better!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am in the same boat you are in .. my anxiety stayed away for a month and it returned a few days ago and its been nothing but hell for me. the only thing that i noticed that helps is keeping myself busy if that even means doing something constantly by bed time im so warped and want to sleep.. only to wake up in middle of the night with anxiety.. it never lets me rest EVER! keep busy!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through it, too, but it’s nice to know I’m not alone.
      I’ve been doing my best to stay busy, it’s just the lack of motivation to get out of bed and doing something that’s getting in the way sometimes…
      If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. some days are harder than others but its best to keep your mind busy and even though sometimes even doing that is a hard task. what kind of symptoms do you get with your anxiety?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. My symptoms range from just feeling out of it, to full meltdown. I get cold sweats, to the point of getting sick, and my heart races like I’m having a heart attack. I shake and I cry, and I feel like I can’t move. What are your symptoms?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. mine is just like yours except i pace the floors i cant still still.. i start sweating and heart pounding out of my chest and muscles tightening up. i use to get muscle twitching for 3 years straight my left eyelid twitched none stop. i wake up panicky in middle of the night with sweats. and eventually i cry at some point

        Liked by 1 person

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