The Early Hours of a Sleepless Mind

Hello everyone, I hope you’re all doing well! This isn’t going to be a normal post, as I have so many things I want to say, so this is just going to be a bunch of rambling and haphazardly pieced together thoughts… actually, this will be a normal post.

The past few weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions. I’ve been happy and scared. I’ve made so many new friends; they’re so wonderful and I’m grateful to have them in my life. On the other end, I have people in my life that either no longer trust or that make it so I feel powerless in any situation that they’re involved in. I am strong, but I can’t help but fall back into my old habits and shut down.

The best part is that while all this is happening, my mind is muddied by a boy and I’m pretty sure I’ve driven my friends up a wall with how much I talk about it. I should just resort to writing his name in my school notebook and playing MASH at sleepovers. Even as I write this, my brain is an office whose filing cabinets just exploded everywhere and the power’s out.

Now that it’s 4:30AM and I have Steam Powered Giraffe blasting in my ears, I think I should remove my hands from the keyboard and go to bed.

I hope most of you are sleeping well, and the rest got enough sleep for a good day. I will be posting the podcast later today, so stay tuned for that!

A Little Brighter

I honestly don’t know where I would be without him. I am dreading this week, but he has taken a lot of my pain away. I have had so many people fuck me over and hurt me, and so much has happened that is out of my control, and he still manages to make me smile.

I am having such a hard time dealing with everything in my life right now, and I know I’m slipping deeper with each blow I’m dealt. I’m not going to be working much this week, but will be going full force come Monday.

I hope everyone keeps pushing forward and doesn’t stop.