I think I’ve spent enough thinking about how to write this post and I’m ready to open up. Recently, between the 11th and the 17th, I went through a break and eventually a breakup. I spent that week putting everything into perspective and trying to see if I could get past what happened. Obviously, I wasn’t able to. I’m okay now. I no longer hold the anger of an ex, but the rage of someone who can’t stand lies.
To keep things short, there was a trip and a lot of things were kept from me. It goes a lot deeper than that, but I’m not in the mood to go into detail. Now, I know being evasive isn’t technically lying, but not telling the truth is lying. Unfortunately, I needed to suggest a break to get the truth, but at that point, it was too late.
During the breakup, I did my best to stay civil, and I did my best to not place too much blame. I even apologized. Not only did I not get an apology, I didn’t get any closure from him. I’ve had a lot of people in my life leave with loose ends but, in that moment, I realized that I wasted almost 2 years of my life on someone who I thought I knew.
Like I said, I am completely fine and have moved past it. The fact that I didn’t even get the courtesy of an apology in the end, after all the lies and bullshit, makes my blood boil. Realizing that I had just been in the same situation again makes me mad at myself.
Over the past two weeks, though, I realized that I deserve to be happy, and I did just that. Through everything that happened, I still managed to smile and laugh and enjoy my time.
I walked away a better person, and I’m going to continue to grow and feel better about myself.
You know, I am sorry, though. I’m sorry to myself.