I Will Say it Here

I would like to start off by apologizing for leaving again without saying a word; I promise I didn’t leave to run home and use the bathroom again… I’m very scared right now, and fragile. I feel like I can’t stop shaking and all I want is to feel safe again. You help with that. You comfort me and make me feel that everything will be okay.

Unfortunately, my mind got the best of me tonight. I feel like a burden to everyone around me, like everything I do just makes things worse. I started to cry, and I tried to calm myself down but I couldn’t. I left because I didn’t want to wake you. I left tonight because I felt like I couldn’t breathe and I didn’t want to scare you.

I want you to know this now: I care about you in ways that confuse the shit out of me, and I like it. I like how no matter how mad or upset I am, being around you makes me want to try and let the pain subside. You’re probably one of the strangest people I’ve met, and just as strange, if not more so.

It’s been a week since you asked me, and a few months since we met. You have given me the strength and the will to be myself, even if I’m being annoying. I would also like to add a fun fact about myself: I keep track of time and dates because it helps with my memory, not because I’m creepy… okay, I’m creepy but not that creepy.

Thank you for not letting me slip through the cracks. Thank you for continuing to stand by me and all my insanity. Thank you for being as fucked up as you are.

Thank you

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