It’s been a while, and I’ve missed you all dearly. I’m sorry for taking such long breaks between posts, but no longer. I have a lot going on but November will be the month where I get my shit together.
The past couple of months have been exciting, stressful, depressing, and draining. I’ve gone through a roller coaster of emotions, and I’m currently in a questioning anger mood. Recently, I learned I was betrayed and blindsided by someone in my life. I had my mental state questioned and it derailed me for a moment, but then I looked back on every interaction and realized that I had fallen into the same fucking pattern that I had been in before. I’m done. I can’t keep being someone’s pawn and I’m not going to. I’m not going to be questioned when I’m dissociating or have manipulation attempts made when my mania hits. I’m standing on my own two feet, and I’ll start kicking and fighting back if I have to.
This month, I’m turning around and starting a new relationship with myself. I deserve to be happy and excited, and the bullshit that keeps popping up is taking away from what I want and need to focus on. I finally got to act on a dream on mine, and I’m going all in on it. I’m so proud of what I’ve accomplished this year and to let people and life get in the way of my path is just ridiculous.
So, to get this fresh start going, I’ve started to really clean up my stream and make it look the way I want it, and I’ve even made merch! Everything on that front is going so well which motivates me to keep going. I’ve been touched by so many of you who have supported me and I want to continue to give back to all of you.
I’ve also started writing my book again. I have the introduction and first chapter done, and I would like to have it finished by late February/early March. I want to introduce you guys to who I am when I’m not playing games or writing posts like this.
Another part of moving forward is the podcast will be coming back in December! I started getting overwhelmed with everything I started so the podcast got put on the backburner, but it is making it’s return! I’m going to be bringing new people on and it’s going to be a blast!
I’m so excited to have the opportunity to do this, and nothing is going to get in the way anymore! I love you all so much, and I hope you are all as excited as I am for this year to end! If you want to hang out or get updates more frequently, head on over to my discord! It’s not the busiest server, but we have fun!
Alright, time for me to get my day started and I will see you all soon!