Sometimes it’s hard to look forward. We can’t see past what’s happened before and we try desperately to be in the moment. The fact of the matter is that the future, second by second, is coming and going at a constant speed and we can’t stop it. We sit and plan out our lives and daydream about everything we want to do. In some aspects we do have some input as to where we’ll end up, but for the most part we don’t; we need to try to gain the ability to accept that even though the unknown is scary, it’s quite beautiful.
For a while, my initial plan for life was to rough it on my own. I was going to move to Seattle, invest in a few apartments and once I had enough money, I would go to a sperm bank and make a family for myself. If someone came along and wanted to be apart of it, they could. I wanted to have this all done by 25. Recently, my plans got completely turned upside down. I’m going to be 23 in July, I still live at home and I’m a student. I also know that I will not be going at this alone.
I never thought I would be here, with someone and have so many opportunities. This wasn’t apart of my master plan, but I am so happy that dream got demolished and replaced with this one.
Eventually, I will write about my new plan for life, but I want to keep this dream to myself for a bit longer. I’m still in shock about the whole thing, and it amazes me to the point that just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes (good tears, I assure you).
Sometimes keeping things a secret can be hard, but this has been the easiest thing to ever happen to me,